Life and death

I went to Sara's today to say goodbye to JC and I realized something the doctor's and nurse's can say "go ahead and call family it doesn't look good". Why do so many people try to play God? I can't understand they said he was in a coma but when he was told that is brother was in from TN his eyes open and he made a noise. He has a rattle but his blood pressure is great, his pulse and respirations are really not all that bad.

Well, now to my point on this. The way that these medical people are are doing JC is the way they are doing me as well. They play cocktail mixes with drugs to try and find out what is going to make me a different person. I want that becuase I have lost a lot of good relationships and I would love to have them back. I want to be okay with someone just stopping by at the house I am embarrassed to have anyone at my house because I don't have the energy to even run the vacuum on a daily basis as it needs with pets in the house. I have so many things started and can't finish anything. I need to make sure that all my yardsale things are together I want to make enough money to have my by-pass surgery. I pray that nothing else comes up that I feel I have to pay it instead of doing what I want. I have to have $395.00 to get the surgery that is what is not covered by my insurance. Wow did I ever get off my point. LOL

Anyway there is only one person that knows when the time is for any of us, that can help us get better, help us move on in life and the problem is that so many of us forget that. We all need GOD in our lifes. It is hard for me to go to church every week because I just don't have the willpower to get up and do anything. I pray everyday that God sees that my disability goes through so that I can stop worrying so much about money and work on ME and my life. Finances worry me to the point I get ill when I have to face them. I want to do something with my life and I have no idea what it is hopefully some day God will smack me in the back of the head and tell me what route I should be taking. One can only pray I guess.