Been a while

I haven't been on here for a while so I thought I would put some of my feelings and findings down.

I have not felt good for a while and I actually hurt on my left side. I went to the hospital about a month ago with "food poisoning" that didn't go away. So I thought well maybe it is my hernia that has busted so in for a CAT scan. Not that but they found a baseball size hernia. So I went to the gyn and was told that all test lead to I have to have my left ovary out. She wanted to take out my right and uterus as well but if it isn't broke leave it. I tried to be brave when I told her this but inside I was wrenching at the gut because I am not ready for medicane to tell me that I have no possible chance to have a family of my own. I know in my heart I properly won't but that is between me and GOD and I want to keep it that way for awhile.

I got my blood test results in today and they came back good so unless something shows up in surgery they should be able to take just the left one. I pray daily that this is the case and remains the case.

On top of this of all times for me to make a decision to get rid of people that brings me down in life after Sara made a decision that I couldn't deal with by leaving her husband for the guy she had an affair with which happens to be the same guy that is the father to the girl that lied on me to make me close my daycares I cut my ties. I miss talking to her but I have always had problem of picking people that was "needy" as my mom says. I know Sara has problems and lying is one of hers as well and I couldn't take or try and fix it any more so I walked away. I thought it was going to be really tough it has its times but I know it is best for me.

I have not felt well enough to go to church for a while but after reading about Amy on Perri's website I feel ashamed because I am letting this get me down. I pray every day that I can be as strong as these women some day.


AMY YOU ARE IN MY PRAYERS